.thisIsIt.

They say it can't be fixed.
This is it.


Amazing what a year can do to you.

The very worst part is that the minute you passed it, it starts all over again. And always, everytime, it completely takes your breath away.

. oldh a p p yself .

I'm posting photos of myself looking happy as a self reminder. That I was happy. So I could be happy again if I have a major reason to be.
Happy photos. Happy me.

I shall disregard the fact that most of the photos have 1 reason to tie them all together.
Disregard. DISREGARD. hah. NOT easy.

random unknown readers, take note that this is NOT a perasan cantik post.












p/s: Give me a reason to be happy again.

. a n n o y e d .

I am PMS-ing. And today, I am annoyed with:

• slow drivers on nkve
• the horrible heat in the afternoon
• smartass nurses
• my tummy
• my contacts
• stupid asap smell that still clings to me even after I sprayed perfume, put on perfumed body lotion, and leave-in conditioner for the hair.
• shell station that does not have working atm leaving me with 3 bucks in my purse.
• slow people in the touch-n-go lane.
• stupid phone with over the top loud vibrating alert.
  

oh make me happy today, please.
please make me happy.

. b i t t e r h e a r t .

Bitter heart, bitter heart
Tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart
Shadows will help you try to hide
Bitter heart, my bitter heart
Is getting just a little fragile
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.

**

A : I think that 2 tiny tubes of super glue i gave you are not enough to fix me
B : I think we need to buy the entire factory, kot hehehe!
A : I think so too. But got no money to buy factory.
B : nanti I buy for you ok? Hehehe!

Cat's out of the pink sparkly bag.
I now have something to regret.

Mother Theresa said: "You can't do great things, only little things with great love."

Great love.

. d u a p u l u h l i m a .

25 seconds.
Not even HALF a minute.
Apparently, I only deserve that much.
Thank you.

.neverEasy.

I met my previous boss today.
His face changed.
He touched the bones sticking out on my shoulders and smiled.
He then said, "Girl, I love you like my own sister. Let me know who's doing this to you. I will take care of it. I got gang waaan."
So I laughed and said "Eh no la. I'm just sick. I told you right?"
He shook his head and said "Don't need to lie to me. I know you. You're bad at lying."
I just smiled and said "It's ok *beep beep* Thank you."

If only it's that easy.

If only when God made us, he also included a lifetime warranty for the heart he provided us with. Everytime it gets broken, we can get a brand new fresh one with no cracks.

If only it's that easy.

Tonight, at the stroke of midnight (or I foresee, MUCH earlier than that too) I will be a mess. Probably with terrible bengkak eyes, red runny nose, and a face that shouldn't be allowed to make an appearance in public. Probably hyperventilating with much difficulty in breathing. Probably with massive chest pain bordering on minor heart attack and stroke. Probably overdosing on pills. Probably with an already broken heart that's broken even more. Probably all of the previously mentioned. A complete, complete mess.

It's really not easy.

Meet me halfway
Right at the borderline
Where I'm gonna wait
For you
With an awesome black thing in one hand
and a jar of love in the other
meet me halfway

I just wanna say
PUKKIIIIIIMMMAAAAAAAKKK
ok. sekian.
n oh, have a stinkin' good night.
whatever