.ofForever.

like a handless clock with numbers
an infinite of time
no not the forever found
only in the mind
forever always seems
to be around when things begin
but forever never seems
to be around when things end
so give me your forever
- Forever

.ofAllOfMe.

Apparently the best piece of writing is one that is based on one's own life.
I don't write that well.
But my life is the only thing I know enough to write about.
Plain, in your face, or even cryptic.
It's my life that I write about.
All of me.
I won't apologize for it.

.disappoint.amaze.

If I could travel back 10 years in time, meet my 17 y.o self, and tell that bright eyed, bushy tailed girl fresh out of school everything, where and how she'll be in 10 years time, she would be disappointed with herself.
The 17 y.o me would be disappointed with the 27 y.o me.
Having said that, I sometimes amaze myself at how strong of a person I can be.
At the things I'm willing to sacrifice and the shit I'm willing to put up with.
In some ways, I'm sorted.
And some other ways, I am beyond lost.

. l o v e l o v e .

"I think I miss you."

Such a simple sentence but enough to make someone feel just a little extra special for the moment.
Enough to make someone curb that cheesy grin at the risk of looking like an idiot.

Here I am sending out a little extra love to each and every one of you gorgeous people in my life.
Feel the extra love all around you today.
Perhaps you won't have to reach for that bottle of pills later tonight.

Love always.
Always, always xx

.whoNeedsShelter.

Good-day sunlight
I'd like to say how truly bright you are
You don't know me but I know you
You're my favorite.

. m o v e .

He said to her, "You are the man who can't be moved, dear."
She looked away and said under her breath, "I'm a girl."
"So move a little. Just a little bit" was what he said as he took a puff on his ciggie.

.ofbeingBitter.

So here's me being bitter on a Terrible Tuesday.

Living alone sucks. You gotta do shit by yourself.
Find food. Do laundry. Take out trash.
Smua buat sendiri.
Sucks. It gets to you after a while.
As if all those years in boarding school and college sorting yourself out are not enough.
Yes, I AM spoiled like that.

It's shit when you still have to work on a public holiday.
Doesn't matter la if you can do your work in your undies at home or whatever.
Worse thing is, you don't get paid even a dime extra.

I'm so tired of having "restrictions" just to jaga hati someone.
If it's not this person, it's that person.
There's always someone to have to jaga hati for.
Can't do this, can't do that, gotta do this, gotta do that.
Gotta be a bit sensitive. Gotta be considerate.
Sometimes you gotta just say "ah fuck it."
But it's of no use if you'll just end up feeling like crap.
I thought I could be that person who could just like, not give a shit about other people.
You know, just be selfish for once.
But I can't. I failed miserably. It made me feel like poo.
Shtinky poo. I am not that person after all.
I wonder if eventually you'll stop feeling like crap.
If you always have to jaga hati someone, who's there to jaga YOUR hati?
Sigh.

The rainy weather affects me a great deal.
I need the sun. A good dose of sunshine everyday.
Sucks how it's been raining a lot.
On Sunday it poured and poured.
It just kept on raining.
I thought to myself, the sky is crying.
I was convinced that the sky must be heartbroken for nothing else can explain why it rained non stop.
Must be some douchebag's fault.

Today I want to distressfully smash some plates and small potted plants.
I am feeling really crappy.
But yeah, I never got to do that. I always just end up crying when I'm horribly pissed or upset.
I think it would be awesome to release all your negative vibes in that shattering way.
Then again, having to clean up all that mess afterward kinda brings down the awesomeness.
Unless you have some poor soul to do it while you baring emo.

It's February.
How time somehow flies by really fast these past couple of months.
Feels like it was only a few days ago that I was on a constant high.
I don't want to have to sulk too long till the next one.
Urgh. How I need another break.
Sunkissed. Free. Calm. Euphoric.