. m s i a .

Dirgahayu Malaysia,
Tanah tumpah darahku, airmataku,
Selamat Ulang Tahun.

Thank you for allowing me to have a great place to call home.
May you give me more reasons to love you than I already do.

With a great amount of love,
The girl who loves you more than anyone you know xx

.ofSmoking.

Smoking kills.
Kills horribly blocked nose, boredom, and heartache so intense it feels like physical pain.

.ofGila.

OMG. I nak gila dah.
Seriously, yeah seriously.
So I was wondering which is worse: kepala letup or gila?
The way I see it, kepala letup, so mati la.
But gila? I'd be making a fool out of myself, like, permanently.
Wouldn't be so fun right?
but dah gila, so I wouldn't actually care pun kan?
True blue picked gila so she'd have more fun with me.
Like, asking me to strip naked and lari pusing padang.
yeah, of course.
tapi orang gila will go straight to Heaven.
hmmmm...
so yeah, memang nak gila dah ni.

Oh, I want to jadi heroine dalam video clip Ne-Yo.
Serious tak tipu.
Serious!

Laparnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

p/s: I'm super broke it's not even funny.

. r a i n d r o p s .

I do not know
where does it go
when it goes
suddenly though
everything's slow

. m o n d a y .

Monday is here again and with that comes the usual Monday blues. Instead of dreading it, this Ramadhan, be thankful that you are given the chance to be alive and get another day to redeem yourself. Pray for your loved ones and remember those who were there for you when life got rough and helped you to be where you are today. Say your prayers, for yourself and the important people in your life. Have a blessed Monday. Amin.

.ofMelayu.

I dunno why but my body/brain would automatically wake me up all fresh and shit at around 3.30-345am every day.
I wonder if it's trying to tell me something.

I had such a Melayu night just now.
Watched Lagenda Budak Setan the series on tv.
The whole time, I was thinking to myslef: why am I even watching this? Whyyyy?!
And who were all those really bad actors/actresses?
Even I know I would do a better job.
Definitely prettier too.
(Okay, I know, perasan moment there. Nyeh.)
It's gotta be one of the crappiest shit I've seen on tv.
And the movie too for that matter.
Yuck!
Yes, I watched that.
Surprise, surprise eh?
Had such a blast laughing throughout the entire time.
It was THAT bad.
Such crap.
Also, I realized that if ever Aizat (the singer) wants an older, non celeb gf, I'd totally be the first to offer myself.
I'd totally date him.
The talent he has is such a huge turn on.
Talented boys who sings with guitars.
Always my weakness.
Oh, and I don't mind dating Nas-T too.
Hahaha.
I know. I'm weird like that.


P/s: I wish my throat could always feel like it's drinking cold water. All the time. Always. Feels good. Definitely helpful during Ramadhan.

. i n h a l e . e x h a l e .

So I thought I was strong enough.
I thought I'd be okay.
But boy, oh boy, was I wrong.
How I crumbled.
Bit by bit.
Now all my fragile strength is gone.

So here I am.
Back to square one.
Working hard to focus on this dog shit pile of work.
Right up to my neck.
At the same time, trying hard not to cry.
It's quite tiring.
To put on a smile as if everything's fine and dandy.
Keep a straight face.

So who am I to say that none of it was ever worth the risk.
But I've long been on my way.
Believing that you are the only exception.

Always, always.

Oh Ne-Yo ku, di mana kamu?
Di mana kamu, sayang?

. n o t h i n ' .

I could be chasing
but my time would be wasted
they got nothing on you baby
nothing on you baby

selamat pagi Khamis :)

.ofFreeTherapy.

There's just something therapeutic about polluting your lungs overlooking the hutan, seeing the smoke dissolves into thin air while listening to the sound of the night owl.

. m a d .

I love this piece.
The choreography, the dancers.
Of course, the song.
Watching this always makes me want to dance.



No, I don't want to go to bed mad at you.
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me.

. t o a s t .

You are the toast to my butter.

. r e d e e m .

A gentle self reminder.

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan...

Try your best to redeem yourself.
Be the better person that you know you can be.
More patience, more love, more empathy.
Believe more.
Respect it all. Try.
Be kind. Always.
Insyaallah.

And you..
May you find joy and peace within you.
May you have a blessed Ramadhan.
May you be surrounded with more love and kindness.
May your orders are sorted more easily.
My prayers and thoughts are always with you.
Always.
xx

.ofSillyLittleThings.

I put my bare feet on the laptop power adapter to keep them warm.

I make half a cup of Milo, with 3/4 Milo powder, 1/4 hot water.
and oh, a spoonful of milk which I shall not include in the equation.
Insignificant.

I like to mess up my hair.
Something about having more volume.
Sex hair.

I like to keep my desk at work neatly arranged.
Same goes for hotel rooms.
But my own room is a terrible mess.
I long gave up on it.

Despite my room being a mess, I know exactly where I need to find certain things.

I hang my clothes according to color.
White on the right all the way to black on the left.
Dresses and tops can't mix.

Most of the time I eat rice with just one lauk.
A few lauks just feel weird together.

I hate nuts. Beans. Anything from that family.
Yes, taugeh too.
Namanya pun bean sprouts kan?

I hate waiting for people.
Even if it's just for 5 minutes.

I use coasters.
I'm anal that way.
Something about the air meleleh2.

I get post-holiday depression.
It lasts a week at the very least.
Longer holiday = longer post-holiday depression.

Everything I eat goes to my tummy.
And thighs.
I look like berudu.
Skinny top, perut gendut.

I love sunbathing.
I can sleep on the beach under the sun for the whole day.
I won't complain.
Yes, I prefer being tan than fair.

I kill my favorite songs by listening to them on repeat.

I can't live without my black eyeliner and my lip balm.

I can't argue in Malay.
My brain is too slow for that.
I will kalah.

I hate using my brainpower.

Sometimes I hate myself for not being able to hate people.

I don't like to eat with my bare hands.
I need utensils.
I once made chopsticks out of ranting kayu just so that I don't have to touch the bihun with my fingers.

.ofSolitude.

I went to Perhentian Kecil.
Short getaway for some sun, sand, and sea.
Same beach, same beat-up chalet, same gf.
I love it there.
It's like my own personal dreamland.
No heavy attachment.
My healing sanctuary.
Last year I went to heal and forget for a little while.
This time around I realized that I can't go on kidding myself.

Oh Perhentian.
If only I could go more often.
I lose myself there under the sun.
With my renewed tan I hope that I also renewed myself.
My faith, my beliefs.

My dreamy sunshine
Till we meet again.















P/s: next time around, don't make me leave with more baggage than my heart and mind could handle, please?