retail therapy

went shopping today. the amount of money i spent shopping for the last 3 days is like my whole month's salary. do i feel bad? i dont think so. i feel like i deserve this. in one way or the other.

i dunno why i find shopping therapeutic. prolly the excitement of looking at the gorgeous stuff. prolly the happiness of looking pretty in those clothes. prolly the satisfaction of knowing i can still fit the size 3 skinny jeans (nothing great i know, but hey i love my ass tenkyu). or that i can still shop at the kids' section n cut my spending in half. or prolly the great sense of achievement when i manage to spot a hot top at the bargain rack for only 4 bucks. or prolly just being in the mall itself. the mall is my mothership. or maybe my bed is. whatev.

sometimes i find it weird how i seek solace at the mall. back when i was in shah alam, i used to sit in the theater of bukit raja alone in my baju kurung, or spend hours going back and forth between MNG, topshop, miss selfridge, and naf naf in sunway pyramid, blowing off allowances on totally unnecessary items. sometimes id drive down to suria either fr home or fr shah alam, just for the sake of it because i love suria on weekdays for some unknown reasons. i think suria makes me feel calm. amidst all the chaos surrounding me in there, i feel at ease. sitting at the CPK balcony alone reading a book or with close friends chatting away, occasionally looking down at the swarm of ppl milling about after a long day walking around trying on clothes, shoes, and what not, is somewhat an emotional booster. im weird. but i know im not alone.

mr BF said my retail therapy is one hell of an expensive therapist. but oh well. it works for me. as long as i dont get into crazy cc debt or having to call mama the bank everytime for extra allowance, im fine. at least if all else fails, i hv all the clothes, bags, n shoes to keep me company. remembering the conversation i had with miss TB, "if we become homeless, at least we'd be the most stylish on the street."