OK?

Ok. Here's the deal. My head hurts. My nose bleeds when I cry. Every little part of my body aches. I am constantly suppressing tears. Or else, I'd cry every 5 minutes. At anything remotely close to a reminder, which is pretty much everything. I can't eat more than 2 spoonfuls a day, for the past 3 days, without throwing up. Yet, I have diarrhea. Funny how so much junk can come out of u when u can't even eat. I have to take slow deep breaths cos even breathing is painful. and I'm scared my body will crash. Sometimes, I forget to breathe. I am constantly (most of the time secretly. from who, I don't know) popping painkillers like they're tic tacs. I am scared to go to the doctor cos I don't wanna get on medication yet again. My heart was stabbed a thousand times, ripped into a million pieces, and then stepped on over and over again. now why don't u tell me, am I okay?
I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY!
and I don't wanna talk about it cos then I'd start bleeding again.