.i n t o t h e d a r k.

Of things I want/need/wish for/miss...

• how you hold my hand under the table. nobody can see it, but I know. and it makes me feel like I belong.
• the pride of walking together into a room full of people. whatever comes, it's okay, cos hey, we're in this together.
• the feeling of knowing that no matter how crappy my day has been, I've got you to come home to.
• one hug, one kiss on the forehead, one whisper, all the pains, aches, and worries in the world just disappear.
• standing in front of a mirror together, smiling, knowing that we look good together. we fit.
• how my hand fits in yours. how I fit in your hug, in your cuddle, in your arms.
• your scent as I snuggle closer. I'd secretly take a deep breath and close my eyes, and I'd feel safe.
• to wake up in the morning and watch you sleep. You'd be the last thing on my mind as I doze off again.
• standing in line, and having you hug me from the back, resting your chin on my head.
• always stepping one step up on the escalator so for that few moments, our faces are on the same level.
• having someone smell my hair, my face, my skin.
• the way you look at me from across the table
• how you glance at me while you're driving, then take my hand and put it on your lap.
• the way you lovingly say "hey" or call me.
• having you snuggle in bed with me when you come home late from work
• you confidently made the decisions yet still worry if I would be okay with it.
• excitedly getting ready to look like a million bucks and have butterflies in my tummy, for a night out with you.
• wearing something I normally wouldn't just because you bought it for me, just because you think I look good in it.
  
• the warmth, the weight on top of me, your hands on my body, my skin against yours, your scent, the look on your face.
• the way you make me feel like a million bucks, like nothing else would even compare.
  
• "Goodbye" means I'll see you tomorrow. Not after a few months. Not after a year.
  
• the comfort of knowing, "I have someone."

so yeah.

Happy Valentine's Day.
I have love aplenty, oh yes I do.
May you feel the love surrounding you tonight.
xoxo

"You and me have seen everything to see;
From Bangkok to Calgary.
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down;
The time for sleep is now.
It's nothing to cry about,
'Cause we'll hold each other soon.
The blackest of rooms.

If heaven and hell decide,
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs:

If there's no one beside you,
When your soul embarks;
Then I'll follow you into the dark."
- "I will follow you into the dark", Death Cab For Cutie