. f e e l i n g s .

I feel like it's easier to write about my feelings when it comes to love, infatuation, lust, that sort of thing, than say, work, clothes, etc. Maybe cos I know it's real. That it's not something superficial. That it's beautiful, even in the most melancholic way.

It may not be something other people would get, and I don't expect anyone to ever would. I just see beauty in it. In feelings. How they can fully absorb you. How you get lost in the whole thing. That sometimes, as if you and your feelings are the only things that exist.

Succumbing to your feelings may not be easy. It can be scary, it can be overwhelming. As for me, it is somehow liberating. Letting go of yourself. Lose control. Why be guarded all the time? If us humans are not meant to feel anything then we wouldn't have been given living, beating hearts. We would have been installed with a block of wood instead.

That moment when we're watching that movie on the couch, our bodies in the opposite directions, our heads touching each other. You held your arm out backward towards me and I reached out. Weirdly, that Lykke Li song popped into my head: "Until We Bleed". Random. I've always associated that song with that feeling of being lost, addicted to that feeling of being on a high. Like a junkie getting her fix. Maybe it's not so random after all. Maybe that's exactly how it is. A junkie getting her fix. And it's real. I fell. I turned into a junkie once again.

"So we're bound to linger on, we drink the fatal drug,
Then love until we bleed, then fall apart in parts"